Andrew's Journal

August 2

Thu, 02 Aug 2007 17:11:20 GMT

I haven't posted in a very long while but I'll give it another shot.

July and August have been hot. Much hotter than I remembered NB as a kid. Global warming or poor memory - not sure.

I think I will work on another story or finish a previous one - doing anything outside in the heat.

Is winter here?

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 13:48:54 GMT

Okay, after some really warm winter weather it's supposed to hit -25 by tomorrow. Still not a lot of snow but winter may have finally arrived...

More signs of spring

Fri, 17 Mar 2006 19:21:00 GMT

Another definite sign of spring - had a neighbor who stopped by as I was outside - never happens all winter long - almost never see most of the neighbors probably because it is too cold.

Was in a rotten mood earlier - had to deal with an idiot (not the neighbor) but starting to relax again.

Thu, 16 Mar 2006 16:09:47 GMT

Snowing again today.

I can tell spring is on the way though. We live on a dirt road and the road has turned to mud under the snow. Four wheel drive is not really a luxury here - for six months of the year it is a necessity.

grrrrrrrrrrrr

Wed, 15 Mar 2006 20:24:26 GMT

Grr...I hate computer crashes. Especially when I had not saved the document I was working on.

Spring?

Wed, 15 Mar 2006 17:18:11 GMT

So it was a warmer than usual winter here. Used less wood than I ever expected. Last week definitely felt like spring.

However, today it feels damn cold! It's just a few degrees below freezing but it's snowing and the wind is blowing. I guess it will be a few more weeks until those spring temperatures are back for good.

I am not queer

Sun, 12 Mar 2006 13:37:17 GMT

I have never liked using the word queer or fag to describe gay men.

I understand that there are people who believe that reclaiming language is important. I know that some people searching for an inclusive word for the G/L/B/T communities have used this word to describe all of these communities.

I can't see the word queer or fag as positive. Perhaps it is a failing of mine - I might be too rigid. I personally have no desire to reclaim these words. I respect those who use these words with a political purpose in mind but I don't think it will ever work for me.

Am I getting old?

Sun, 12 Mar 2006 13:19:34 GMT

For some reason I was thinking this morning about changes that have affected the gay community in the last few years. I realized quite a bit has changed in my lifetime. Maybe it is a sign of getting old when I begin to look back on the "way it was".

When I was born sex between men in Canada was a criminal act and homosexuality was seen as a psychiatric illness. In the early 70's homosexual acts were decriminalized in Canada and the DSM was changed.

In the 80's I was a kid just beginning to understand my own sexuality and how I was different from many of my peers. I remember reading about GRIDS (Gay Related Immune Deficiency Syndrome) and then as it was called shortly after that AIDS.

My perception of that time was it was not safe to be gay. I didn't know of anyone who was gay except those that I read about, and that was usually in articles about AIDS.

Being queer, a fag, etc. was the worst thing you could say to another guy. There were no groups for gay youth. No books in the library that said anything positive about gay men or lesbians.

In the late 80's I started going to gay bars in Montreal when I visited my sister in the summer and also one of the only two gay bars in the province of NB.

I remember in Fredericton the gay bar was called Traxx. You always had to be careful leaving at night if you were there late. It was best to leave in a group because gay bashing was frequent.

In the early 90's I remember being in the gallery of the legislature of New Brunswick when the Human Rights Act was amended to include discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. Before this it was legal to discriminate in areas of services, employment and housing on the basis of sexual orientation.

We wondered how effective this new legislation would be - we believed in a small province like NB many would ignore the legislation and continue to discriminate.

The 90's were an odd time - I had begun to become a lot more active within the gay community and moved to the Toronto area but at the same time began seeing first hand how AIDS had affected the gay community. Gay men were sick and dying - this had occurred for 10 years previous across North America but for the first time it was those that I knew and cared about.

In the 21st century gay marriage is legal in Canada. I never thought I would see this occur but it did.

The perception of AIDS seems to have changed. AIDS is no longer seen as a disease affecting gay men and sex trade workers. I think this change is a good thing in some ways but bad in other ways.

My belief is that AIDS was not a priority for anyone because in North America it was seen as affecting gay men, sex trade workers and Haitians. People who were marginalized. People who were often seen as bringing this disease upon themselves. AIDS has and continues to decimate parts of Africa where people have been economically marginalized.

I wonder if in the process of recognizing that AIDS can affect anyone something was lost? Gay men were disproportionately affected by AIDS in North America. If it had been middle class housewives affected the response would have been quicker and interest much higher. AIDS in some ways was a "gay disease" in North America. It was a "gay disease" because society made it that way through a lack of response or caring.

I hope that is not forgotten.

Spring

Fri, 10 Mar 2006 17:51:42 GMT

Back from a long break. Not a whole lot new here - there are signs that spring is on the way and I am looking forward to an end of snow!

Working on another story to be posted soon.

End of August already

Sun, 28 Aug 2005 18:47:34 GMT

It has been a few weeks since I have posted anything. Not really too much new here - mostly just a busy time. Have been outdoors a fair bit lately and enjoying that a lot.

Last Friday helped one of the few sane neighbors cut down some trees for firewood. Definitely a good workout!

Will see if I can post more frequently in weeks to come.

Sat, 30 Jul 2005 11:28:26 GMT

It's been a long week.

Got some of the wood into the porch for the winter. I know it's a bit early but I was concerned about it not drying. Anyway, it's Saturday and will likely get more in today.

Met with the "Munch people" Thursday night. They seemed a lot more sane than I expected.

I suspect the questionnaires were a matter of paranoia. We live in a very rural area and the city were the groups is located is very conservative. Will probably proceed further with this group and go to a munch when we find out when and where it is.

Mastered - Part 3

Thu, 21 Jul 2005 00:51:35 GMT

I realized that I never did post part 3 of this in my journal.

He just stood there watching me as if he was watching an animal in a zoo. He seemed relaxed but I couldn't even tell if he was turned on or not.

My cock was twitching a lot. I glanced at the timer. It had been four minutes since he had started stimulating my cock with the TENS. There was a dull ache in my balls. I hadn't cum in days and was definitely ready to cum now.

My cock was starting to twitch even before the pulses that stimulated it. Precum was flowing freely from my cock onto my stomach. Every time I felt the pulse my hips moved involuntarily. I guess I probably looked like I was trying to fuck some imaginary guy.

He just looked at me and pulled off his shirt. I could see his hairy chest and I moaned. I wasn't a really experienced bottom but I wanted to give this guy whatever he wanted now. I also needed relief for my cock which I thought was going to explode.

Without thinking I moaned, "Please fuck me."

He looked down at me and leaned in close. He was just inches from my face with his eyes locked on mine. As he looked at me my cock pulsed again.

He said, "I didn't say you could speak."

He turned the dial on the timer adding another five minutes. I noticed the timer still had 25 mintes left. I was starting to understand the punishement. It wasn't pain...it was denial. He was in complete control of my cock and I had none. The pulses going through my cock kept it hard but wasn't enough to make me cum.

As another pulse went through my cock it felt almost if my whole cock was grabbed tightly for a second and then released. I was having a hard time thinking about anything but my cock but wondered if it was becoming more sensitive or he had turned up the power.

He whispered in my ear, "I control your cock, you understand that don't you boy?"

I started to respond, "Y-y...", as another pulse went through my cock and all I could do is moan.

I was breathing heavily and all I could do was lay there and shiver. I nodded my head "Yes" in response to him.

As the next pulse came my whole body tensed. My wrists and ankles strained against the straps. There was no pain but it my cock was getting more stimulation than I had ever experienced. The feeling was amazing. It was an agonizingly pleasurable punishment. Every muscle in my body tensed every few seconds. I wanted more but I also wanted it to end. I wondered if eventually I would cum from this alone or if he could make me stay hard like this as long as he wanted. I wanted him to touch me. I wanted him to use me any way he wanted.

"I'll be back when your punishment is done.", he said. "I'll be able to hear you but I don't want you to speak unless you need to use the safeword. Do you understand?"

Still looking me in the eye I tried to speak again but my pulsing cock turned it into a moan. I nodded.

"Good boy." he said. "And if you do well with the punishment you'll get a reward."

I wondered what he meant by that as he walked out. A reward for accepting punishment? It didn't matter. I was lost in my sexual fantasies. They weren't involved. More like brief images were all I could focus on between the pulses. An image of him fucking me. An image of him stroking my cock again with his gloved hand. An image of me kneeling and sucking his cock. For a while nothing but the images and my pulsing cock existed.

Finally, as if coming out of a trance I looked over at the clock and realized there was only five minutes left. As I looked at the clock he came back in.

He put his gloved hand on my chest and I squirmed involuntarily. Although he was only touching my chest it felt sexual. I suppose at that point anything would have aroused me.

"Five minutes left boy but you can have your reward now." He pulled a white jockstrap out of his back pocket and put it on my face.

"I wore it yesterday.", he said.

Like a lot of other guys I am turned on by a hot guy in a jock. The idea of sniffing a jock has never done anything for me. However, this was different. My cock was straining and constantly oozing precum. Every few seconds every muscle in my body strained as I felt another pulse. I was breathing heavily and in agonizing ecstasy. I was breathing heavily and with every breathe could smell the jock. I could smell his sweat and knew what his cock must smell like. I was like an animal. A very sexual animal as I breathed in his scent enjoying any sensation I could get. Enjoying his scent but craved more. I wanted to feel him, taste him and hear him tell me I was a good boy.

If I could speak I would thank him for the jock. I wanted more but appreciated anything this man gave me. I lay there still straining against the straps as the pulses surged through my cock and inahling his scent as I heard the buzzer of the timer.

I lay there as he turned off the TENS. Every few seconds my body still tensed waiting for another pulse that did not come.

I felt his hands taking the electrode off my cock. My cock twitched and jerked as I hoped it would get more attention that did not come.

He looked at me and said, "I'm going to untie your wrists and ankles. If you move an inch before I tell you to I'll strap you down again and hook you up and leave you for an hour."

I knew he would do that if I moved and I lay there with his jock still on my face not moving at all as his undid the straps.

"Now, sit up." he said sharply. Grabbing the jock off my face and pulling my legs over the side of the table towards him as I sat.

I was sitting on the edge of the steel table naked. I held the table on either side of myself to steady myself as it felt as if every mscle in my body was spent. I looked as if I was waiting for the doctor to return. But this was different. My cock was standing straight up. I was covered in sweat. The precum that had dripped onto my stomach while I was laying down was oozing.

He spread my legs apart and was standing close in front of me between my spread legs. My bare thighs were touched the sides of his waist. It felt erotic. I wanted to wrap my legs around him and beg him to pick me up in his arms and hold me and then fuck me. Instead, I sat there helplessly waiting for his lead pressing my thighs against him and staring at his crotch.

He ran his gloved hand over my stomach smearing the precum with his fingers.

"I bet you're pretty horny now.", he said.

Breathing heavily I nodded still looking at his crotch.

Goats: A failure??

Thu, 14 Jul 2005 17:12:02 GMT

A few months ago we bought two goats - wethers (castrated males).

The goal in our country adventure was to make them "meat goats". (goat is great in curry or greek food).

However, these goats were named and soon enough we were attached to these bizarre guys. It looks like they are going to be more pets than "meat goats".

That's what happens with a couple of city boys first attempt at country living.

Might learn something about keeping animals at least.

Country Living - Wood&garden

Thu, 14 Jul 2005 16:23:03 GMT

So in the last two years I have learned about wood heat. Being a city boy I have never known very much about this in the past.

First of all a cord of wood that is split and stacked measures out to be 4'x4'x8'

Last winter we probably used about 5 cord and had 6 cord on hand. This year I ordered another 6 cord.

The wood arrived in February. I suppose for some people having wood delivered is a bit of a luxury but there is insufficient land for us to be cutting our own.

Anyway, it arrived as truckload of 18 foot lengths. I am getting better with a chainsaw and we had it sawed up fairly quickly and stacked.

In April a neighbor arrived with a woodsplitter to help split it. I have made some posts where I make fun of my crazy neighbors but in the end they have been very helpful to us. I know I see them as crazy and they see me as the same.

If you have ever split wood by hand you will know that 6 cord would be a bit of a task - especially when it is fairly thick wood.

The wood was all split and piled in a big heap.

Now some of it is stacked and some in a heap. Either way it will dry.

In the fall we will bring it into the porch. Because there are lots of windows in the porch it will dry out even more there in a short amount of time.

Still have some wood from last year that will start us out in the fall as well.

Anyway, I feel good knowing that it's all cut and split.

The garden is doing well still. Actually, "the garden" is a little more than a garden! Here's what we have so far:

7 Rhubarb plants (2 producing this year)
10 (approx) apple trees (about 4 that produce heavily
3 Gooseberyy bushes (not producing yet)
6 Black Currants bushes (produce some but still need to mature)
30 (or so) strawberry plants (have started to produce - full maturity next year)
5 Blackberry bushes (to produce next year)
12 Asparagus (a couple of years away)

These are all perennial and wer chosen because they will produce for years and can deal with the cold winter. I really like things that are planted once but continue to produce year after year.

For annuals we have:
- about a dozen tomato plants that are in flower now
-8 rows of potatoes in flower
-4 rows of corn
-3 rows of peas
-a few zuchinni and squash
-kale
-beet greens

Some things have been doing poorly so far. I think the peppers and cucumbers are a write off. Peppers will avoid next year though I want to try cucumbers again.

Have a few herbs that are doing well too (dill, mint, chives).

I am curious to see what will happen with the Jerusalem Artichoke. It is a perennial that is supposed to produce a lot and be great in a cold climate. Will have to see.

Next spring will likely look at getting chickens - egglayers.

Hmmm...what prompted me to write all this? I guess I was just looking at some homesteading info. Not sure that we are homesteaders but fairly self sufficient.

A different sort of entry

Thu, 14 Jul 2005 15:45:46 GMT

I like to cook sometimes. Anyway here's a bread recipe I use.

2 1/2 c flour
1/3 c flax seed (grind in blender or mill)
1/3 c oatmeal
1/3 c cracked wheat
2 Tbs Butter
1 c milk
1 tsp salt
3 Tbs Sugar or 2 Tbs Honey

Combine all ingredients and knead. Then knead more. Then knead again. Wait 1 hour. Knead again (use flour on surface).

Place in greased pan. Let rise for 45mins to 1 hr. Bake at 350 for 35 mins or until done.

I know a bit of an odd entry for me. However, better than any store bought bread and healthy too.

The story continues...

Wed, 13 Jul 2005 12:37:57 GMT

Finally finished Part 2 of the story I called "Mastered". Prefer it over "Cottage Weekend". A little less vanilla and still has some interesting twists to come.

It is friends only because...well...it's 18+. If you are interested in reading post here and I can give you access.

A

Gay men accepted in Rural Canada???!??

Mon, 11 Jul 2005 19:16:01 GMT

Another true story.

I went to a neighbor's one day. He's a nice guy though he likes to drink a lot and it sometimes makes me feel like I am in rural Arkansas.

Anyway, I arrived as he was gutting a pig in the entryway to his house. The pig was hanging in the doorway and the entrails covered the ground.

I carefully stepped around the "pig parts" as he invited me inside.

He sat down and offered me a cigarette. His hands were covered in pig blood and the blood was already soaking through the paper of the cigarette he offered me.

I declined his offer.

Because he was hard at work he had removed his teeth. He sat there drinking a beer ( he was only on his first dozen of the beer of the morning) and telling me that I was a great guy.

He further explained that I was the first gay guy he had ever met but that he never worried that I was going to come over and want to suck his cock.

...............I never worried about that either.

Another country story

Mon, 11 Jul 2005 18:59:58 GMT

The proper way to clean your woodstove.....

This last winter I visited a neighbor down the road. He had some problems with his woodstove - some smoke coming out into the room.

"By Jesus", he exclaimed, "I've gotta clean the flue again."

He waited until the fire died out.

I watched as he pulled out a plastic beer glass and watched believing I might learn some new trick useful in country living.

He reached dowwn and grabbed a plastic container from beside the woodstove explaining that it was Methyl Hydrate (highly flammable). Yes, that's correct, I said he reached down and picked it up from it's storage place beside the woodstove.

Anyway, he filled the plastic beer cup half full of methyl hydrate explaining to me that you should never use more than half a cup (to this day I am not sure about this rationale).

He grabbed a Kleenex and dipped a corner into the fluid in the cup and let it hang out the side of the cup. I watched him as he did this and asked him if he knew what a molotov cocktail was.

He just looked at me and went back to what he was doing.

I moved across the room as he opened the door to the stove and put the cup inside. I was feeling as if I was being an idiot for not running out of the house immediately.

He explained to me that methyl hydrate does not explode as I saw the cup begin to melt. Feeling unassured I stood my ground. He lit the kleenex and closed the door.

I have to say he was right....no explosion but a helluva lot of flame. I was surprised there was no flu fire.

True story (could I make that up?)

Disclaimer: No idiot was harmed in this event....but it may still happen.

Stories from the country

Mon, 11 Jul 2005 18:45:58 GMT

So country living is always interesting...sometimes quiet but not always. Here's what I heard about a neighbor recently.

Background

Gary drinks heavily. He was told me and a party that he was an alcoholic as he poured another glass of Lemon-lime pop and gin.

Anyway here's the story.....

Gary woke up in the middle of the night with a toothache. He stumbled to the bathroom and grabbed the Anbesol (topical pain killer) and put a little on his toothe.

It didn't seem to help so he poured the Anbesol onto his toothe and gums. The pain started to get worse.....

.......it was only then that he realized that he had picked up the wrong bottle. He stared at the bottle of wart remover that he had just poured into his mouth.

A true story.

Disclaimer: No morons were seriously injured in this event. Gary continues to see his physician for the chemical burn in his mouth and throat.

A test

Mon, 11 Jul 2005 17:38:42 GMT

Here's a test I found on someone else's LJ:

The Sex-Fiend
You scored 38 out 45 experience and 35 out of 45 adventurousness!

You are the unprecedented. There's nothing you haven't tried, and nothing you wouldn't try again. Sex is your life. You revel in sex, and love rubbing people's faces in it. It's cool - you enjoy your sexuality to its maximum!

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 90% on experience

You scored higher than 68% on adventurousness

Link: The How Sexual Are You? Test written by Popcornisyum on Ok Cupid

Sat, 09 Jul 2005 12:38:05 GMT

I'll add the second part of the story that later today. I'll probably make the second part private because it is beginning to heat up a little.

Also working on another story that is a little less vanilla. That one will likely have to be private from the start.

Rain

Wed, 06 Jul 2005 14:36:02 GMT

Raining today in here.

Oh well, great for the garden.

Still wandering around in Live Journal.

Feeling pretty good today and will likely submit next part of my story.

Will post the first part here.

Stuff

Tue, 05 Jul 2005 21:42:36 GMT

It has been an up and down day. Lots of crazy stuff today.

I continue writing the second part of the erotic story that I started last week - it's a great escape. It has no literary merit and in fact just kind of a trashy story but I have found it is the equivalent of reading a trashy novel.

Anyway may post part one here at some point.

Another day in Tay

Sun, 03 Jul 2005 14:12:57 GMT

Have decided to start using LJ more frequently. Went back to gay.com briefly but for the most part all the people there are just looking to jerk off - not talk.

Garden continues to do well.

I sent a story to nifty.org yesterday and it was posted. Okay, okay so nifty will post just about anything but it was an interesting distraction writing it. They didn't post it in their authoritarian section but I suppose the first installment didn't have much bdsm content. Working on part 2 now and it will have quite a bit more. Still on the vanilla side but as I say it was done as a distraction.

First entry

Fri, 24 Jun 2005 10:55:45 GMT

This is my first journal entry. Not sure what I will put here eventually but I'll just start with whatever comes to mind.

It's the middle of June and some of the garden is doing well. We transplanted some rhubarb earlier in the year and it seems to be coming up. The blackberry transplants look pretty good too. The kale is not so great - I would guess it's the lack of sun in the last month and a half. There's been a lot of rain and it has been cool.

Have been feeling pretty tired lately. Hoping that will change soon.